Designing a Leadership Mindset
Estimated Reading Time: 5-7 min
Education isn't the only industry that promotes people into leadership because they are good at a completely different skill set than what a leader in that field actually does.
At L+D, we work with new leaders, and they report and share their experiences with us. There are a few things that consistently emerge. One, they are excited to have the opportunity to lead. Two, they see themselves as capable of making necessary change(s). Three, they like the idea of challenging themselves or they feel a bit bored just being good at their job, and moving into leadership is a chance to challenge themselves to grow.
They want more. Then, they get promoted, and what I observe as a pattern is that as they move past the period of time they get as a honeymoon, there are some changes in their behavior worth noting.
One, they start to question whether their decision to enter leadership was right. They are stressed and worried that they must learn to live with high stress as their new normal. Two, they have tried to outwork the job and experienced some level of failure.
Questioning can move to anxiety when they have given an unsustainable max effort push and still failed to change minds or build the type of organic buy-in that leads to real systemic change. They start to question themselves. They thought being a good ________ (teacher, etc...) would translate. They thought leadering would be more fun than what they are experiencing. People blame and criticize their work, and this experience is new to them.
If they reach out and get support or coaching, we start by helping them put their sense of self back together. Once they start to feel like themselves again and begin to see a bit further into the future, we confront one of the scariest truths in leadership: This experience of being wrong and incapable of solving other people's problems with max level effort will never stop. Worse, experienced leadersseek out ambiguity and sit intentionally in moments of intense hurt, dissonance and where the path forward is unclear.
L+D has worked hard to dig into our empathy research and understand the needs of these leaders, and five years ago, we beta tested a new program called Leadership Lab at The Lovett School in Atlanta, GA. We wondered whether doing a program for leaders that was open to anyone, experienced, new or just curious would be of interest. In the first year, we had more than 100 people attend. We had two Heads of School attend because they were curious whether there was a new mindset or skillset to learn. We had teachers attend who came to imagine being a leader in the future, and these two types of people sat side by side and learned together. Here are a few of the mindsets we were actively trying to unbuild when we imagined the program:
Leaders solve problems by knowing the answers.
Leaders direct other people by guiding their work or by telling them when they are off track.
Leaders can hold others accountable inservice of generative growth and development.
People will be excited to work to change if we are well organized and communicate clearly and at the right time.
People understand things by having them explained in meetings.
Designing New Habits, Mindsets and Skillsets
During the lab, we focus on a different set of beliefs that underlie a different type of leadership mindset. This new mindset speaks to different habits and skills, and it leads to spending one's time as a leader in different ways.
The underlying belief that is the core of the Leadership Lab curriculum is that people are capable, and they do not need to be "held accountable."
Instead, they must be held capable, and we must support leaders to build the capacity to investigate, understand and work with the resistance and ambiguity waiting for them in the work. We have designed this mindset with the following traits in mind:
Leaders are expert listeners who are trained to not feel threatened by what people say.
Leaders ask questions that deepen and explore issues, opportunities and problems, even when the presenting problem is their leadership.
Leaders regulate themselves emotionally and energetically in environments that are a hot mess of emotional dysregulation.
Leaders make things visible and name things to shine light on voices and/or perspectives that are harder to see or hear from the people who are experiencing them regularly.
Leaders sit in complexity with no fear of how it reflects on them to be confused or unclear on the path forward. They wait for clarity to emerge instead of pretending to be the source of it.
Leaders see problems and challenges as why they exist, not as barriers to being happy in their work. When problems arise, they are not stressed or excited. They simply meet them with presence and in a way that feels both attentive and calm to others.
Leaders toggle actively and in real time between the balcony (meta-cognitive) and the dance floor (emotional).
Leaders gain a sense of purpose from creating containers where people can co-create, and they understand that ideas must be built with and not for the people impacted by the work.
Leaders love and care unconditionally so as to learn and think with deep intellectual discernment. A high bar does not mean low care, and high care does not need to be at the expense of a high bar.
Leaders alchemize fun, joy, purpose everywhere they go using ingredients available for free.
Leadership is not about the position you hold. It is about the impact you make.
Leadership Lab is a two-day program for anyone who has an interest in this work, and it is happening this June in sunny San Jose, California. Both the beach and wine country are an easy hour-long drive away. Sitting leaders are invited. New leaders are invited. Wondering if leadership is for you, you are invited to this space to consider this with others and in an environment meant to simulate a place where you think by actively experimenting with these skills and ways of being.
As I was thinking about this article, I thought it would be helpful to end by imagining a future where all leaders are trained in this way, and what impact we would see and feel because of it. We have used a question in our work called The Miracle Question, and it works like this:
Imagine a miracle occurred at night while you were sleeping. The miracle is that whatever problem or challenge you are experiencing is miraculously solved overnight. So, in this case, overnight every leader has now been trained in this way, and even better, because this is a miracle, they haven't just been trained, they have embodied the learning.
Next, you ask, "How would I know that the miracle has occurred if nobody told me it had happened?" The person or team is asked to reflect on their day starting right from the moment they wake up. The world is different -- a miracle has occurred -- but what do they notice that clues them in that this is the case?
This thought experiment allows teams or individuals to then design in reverse to engineer their own miracles.
Sometimes people will say, in my miracle, it is sunny, but I don't have control over that, so it doesn't work. The strategy coaches people to think about what a true miracle would include if we do not control the weather. It helps people re-craft their miracle to include feeling like it is sunny even when it is raining, and to reframe the miracle to allow for the fact that we do not control external circumstances. We don't actually care if it is sunny, we just like how we feel when it is sunny. The miracle is not a superhuman ability to control the weather, it is a superhuman ability to feel amazing in all weather. One framing reinforces that our miracle is not possible, and one allows us to design towards it.
In this future miracle state, we noticed:
Leaders are consistently well-rested and project out that no matter how little time there is, they are never in a hurry to be anywhere other than right where they are. When they need to stop and transition, they do so directly and with no stress or anxiety that doing so is a problem.
Leaders listening to understand and never drop into unconscious or anxious solving to soothe their own internal state. They do not check their phone or watch anxiously because they are not feeling like they need to be anywhere else.
Leaders asking for help and support from others to help meet the breadth of needs.
Leaders moving and attending to their bodies every day as necessary partners in their work.
Leaders asking exploratory questions that open up depth and space in conversation. These questions help colleagues to wonder differently about their challenge. These questions signal to people that they are capable of solving their own problems if they are able to see those problems in new ways and find the help and support they need. The help they need is usually inside of them - not located on the internet or dependent on you.
Leaders laughing regularly and staying present and grounded when others are dysregulated. Other people report feeling better simply by being in their presence.
Leaders spending more time outside of school enjoying their friends, family and building multi-generational networks of people to help them feel seen and valued for more than just what they do at work.
This future exists -- help us build it. You can come to Leadership Lab, you can send someone to Leadership Lab, or you can just spread the word that there is new Leadership Mindset in town.
