Designing Your Way Out of the Sunday Scaries

Estimated Reading time: 7-9 minutes

I don't know about you, but Sunday Scaries have haunted me going all the way back to grade school! Can you imagine a 10-year-old already dreading the Monday spelling test? Well, that was me. 

The Sunday Scaries are like that push notification you swear you never signed up for, but somehow it still pops up, always knowing the exact moment you’ve just settled into your couch. Maybe your heart rate goes up, your mood dips, and you suddenly start imagining all the emails and meetings waiting for you like a tidal wave at 8 a.m. 

Here’s the thing, though. While some causes are out of our control (like your actual workload or perceived toxic co-workers), a surprising number is in your hands. You can design your Sunday and parts of your week in ways that make the transition smoother and less… doomsday-ish. Here are some ways to do that: 

Everyone is a Designer, even you. It’s really a matter of whether you are subconsciously designing or consciously designing.

All you need to consciously design your life is to deeply listen, boldly experiment, radically learn, and try again.

1. Flip the Script on Your Sunday Structure

Most people treat Sunday like a slow goodbye to the weekend. Maybe it’s a “lazy morning” staying in bed late and moving slowly as you prepare your coffee, make breakfast and start the rest of the day -- something my wife and I love to do. Or maybe it’s random chores, helping your kid finish a science project they didn't mention until the final hour, watching your favorite show or a last-minute “fun” activity that feels more like a rushed checklist item. Whether it’s planned or spontaneous, your Sunday flies by. But what about the empty space in the evening that we often don't schedule. That’s prime real estate for Sunday Scaries (or anxiety) to move in and make themselves comfortable right beside you. How might we buffer against this real dilemma (that I’m still trying to figure out)?

Try this instead: Put your most enjoyable or meaningful activity later in the day. A workout with a friend. A hobby that demands your focus. A Sunday dinner you actually look forward to. Give yourself something to anticipate on Sunday night that isn’t just the dread of Monday morning. You can also design backwards. Ask yourself: What do I want the last few hours of my weekend to feel like? If the answer doesn't match reality, change your plan starting from the evening and working backwards. Of course, surprises happen. Design isn't about controlling everything. It's a way of thinking.

2. Make a Monday You’d Actually Want to Show Up For

Part of why Sundays hit hard is that Monday feels like a brick wall: Heavy meetings, big deadlines, inbox chaos. But what if you stacked Monday with things you genuinely like?

Start a ritual on your way to work, schedule a coffee catch-up, block out time for a creative project, or start with lighter tasks so you can build momentum before diving into the deep end. Your brain will stop seeing Monday as a battlefield and more as… a runway. It may not be possible in all scenarios and I empathize with the non-negotiables (9am class time, welcoming students at the door, a parent who surprises you at your door first thing in the morning). There is often more time than you might imagine for the high stakes conversations, meetings, or projects as you progress through the week. Give it a try. See what happens and design something that works best for you. 

3. Close the Loop on Your Week

Unfinished business is an anxiety magnet. You might not notice it, but your brain is quietly keeping score on all the “should haves” from last week and Sunday is when it comes to collect.

Here’s one design hack I’ve found: I’m a huge procrastinator, so on Friday afternoon (yes, Friday), I take thirty minutes to tie up loose ends. Reply to lingering emails. Make a Monday to-do list. Set priorities. Anything I don’t want hanging over me that can be wrapped up quickly, I finish before the weekend starts.

That way, Sunday isn’t the day you suddenly remember all the little things that were left undone.

To be fair, this is more personal preference than pure design, but that’s the point. Design lives in the everyday, and it starts with intention. To loosely quote my favorite designer, Virgil Abloh: “Find the domino effect. Design something different and see what happens.”

Do I follow my own rule every week? Absolutely not. But that’s the whole point of using the Sunday Scaries as a metaphor. It’s not just about Sunday. It’s about learning to live with a “work in progress” principle. Letting go of perfection so you can work, play, try new things, and not get stuck in precision or overthinking. As Virgil Abloh says elsewhere, “Perfection doesn't advance anything.” So my call to action for you is simple: Design around the tensions in life. That’s the good stuff. Embrace it. Feel it. Make something new.

4. Protect Your Transition Window

This study of the phenomenology of Sunday blues found that the experience of Sunday to Monday is as much about transition as it is about work. It’s the gear shift from freedom to responsibility, from slow mornings to structured time. If you blur that transition by checking work emails Sunday night “just to get ahead” or work on a project, you are basically inviting Monday into your Sunday. It can lead to burnout, but I also want to hold space for those moments being the only time you can actually get work done. The goal here is to be mindful, attentive, and aware. If you have a system that works for you and includes working Monday to Sunday, I love that. 

If it's not working, try this instead: Create a ritual that marks the close of your weekend. It could be as simple as making tea and reading, taking a sunset walk, or journaling your intentions for the week. Protect that boundary like it’s your combination to your hallway locker. Ultimately, it's simply a method of choice and the choice is always yours.

5. Audit Your Weekend Expectations

A big trigger for Sunday Scaries is the gap between the weekend you imagined and the one you actually got. Maybe you thought you’d rest, but instead you ran errands, fixed the sink, and helped a friend move. Maybe the weekend just reflected the unexpected twists and turns of being a parent.

Try setting fewer expectations for your weekend. Prioritize one or two key things – whether rest, connection, or fun – and call it a win when you do them. A “good enough” weekend makes Sunday less about regret and more about satisfaction.

6. Bring Your Body Into Focus

Your mind isn’t the only one bracing for Monday -- your body feels it too. Physical cues like fatigue, restlessness, or that classic stomach knot can feed the mental spiral.

You can short circuit this by moving your body in ways that calm your nervous system. A light workout, playing with your kids, stretching, yoga, even just getting outside with your family for 20 minutes can shift your state. Design a routine for your body. One of the key factors of Sunday night blues is insufficient rest. It's not easy, but get the rest where you can.

Bottom line:

Sunday Scaries aren’t a sign you need to blow up your life (though sometimes they might be a nudge to reassess). More often, they’re an invitation to design your time, mindset, and transitions with intention. Part of design is making the connections between different components of a system visible so that you can understand the levers that are under your control. Another part is embracing your agency to design a system differently. If you change the way Sunday feels, you just might change the way Mondays feel, too.

P.S. Or maybe… ignore everything I just said. Because honestly, your Sunday Scaries are shaped by your life, your needs, your context – and that’s something only you can truly understand.

What I will say is this: design always starts with deep empathy. We’re quick to extend that to others, but we often skip empathizing with ourselves. And no, it doesn't need to be about pity or wallowing in the bad stuff swirling around you. It’s about pausing long enough to notice how you’re actually living, and asking if it’s how you want to be living.

In my own life, and in my work as a therapist, I’ve learned that most of us are moving through our days far less consciously than we think. So here’s the ask… stop, reflect, and show empathy for one of the most sacred things you’ll ever touch: your time in the present moment.